Never Too Late
by Vallygirl
Summary: Sarar tries to convince Casey to reach out to Kathleen and his daughter Alex.


Title: Never Too Late

Author: Valerie

Characters: John Casey/Alex Coburn, Sarah Walker, Kathleen McHugh and Alex McHugh

Summary: Sarah tries to convince Casey to reach out to his daughter.

Disclaimer: I don't own the characters but I wouldn't mind having my wicked way with Casey for a night.

Author Note: I know that at certain points Casey and Sarah probably come off as OCC *out of character* but I think some of these things needed to be said to our poor Casey and if anyone knows about Daughter/Daddy issues (other than Ellie of course) it would be Sarah.

Also a slight shout out to NCIS with the term 'probie' *grin*.

***

"Walker what are you doing here, I thought you were in DC." Casey said as his partner…former partner (God that was going to take some time to get use to) stood in his doorway.

"Nice to see you too Casey," Sarah said as she stood there with her arms crossed. "Not that I expect you to become the host with the most over night but you could at least invite me in."

Casey stepped aside to allow the blonde agent access to his apartment. He still refused to call this place home. "I would ask how things went in DC but I'm sure it's classified."

Sarah gave him a small smile as she looked around the apartment. She had a funny feeling that Chuck and Ellie provided some of the items she was seeing since the NSA had stripped the apartment practically bare. She moved over towards the table in the center of the room and reached out to touch the ceramic pot that the housed the one remaining Bonsai tree.

"I'm sorry I couldn't stop them from destroying them. I tried but they were…" She murmured sadly.

"On a mission to find evidence against me," he finished for her. "Forget it they were just doing their job."

Nodding she turned and looked at her former partner. "And the furniture? Ellie? Chuck?"

"Chuck told her that somebody broke in and robbed me while I was at work. She couldn't resist being Ellie the good neighbor and insisted I take some stuff until I could buy new furniture. Of course Bartowski and Grimes had to join in to maintain the cover story."

"That explains the X-Box." She said as she sat down in one of the 'new' chairs.

"Look Walker, I'm fine. You don't have to check up on me." Casey said as he opened his fridge and grabbed two beers, popping open both tops before joining her.

"I'm not here to check up on you," Sarah insisted as she took a sip of her beer.

Casey watched the woman across from him carefully, after three years he knew when she needed get something off her chest. "What?"

"Would you have made the same choices if you knew Kathleen was pregnant?" She asked.

First it was Chuck and now Walker, why didn't they understand that he made his decision and there was no turning back. "Does it make a difference? I made my decision over 20 years ago and they both seem to have gotten on fine without me."

"Trust me when I say Alex would disagree with you about not needing her father." Sarah told him before she gave Casey that look, the look that said now answer my damn question.

"Fine, if I had known that Kathleen was pregnant…" Casey said with a sigh as he rubbed his face as he prepared himself to admit out loud for the first time. "No, I wouldn't have accepted Keller's offer."

Nodding her head in understanding she took another sip of her beer before saying. "Because it would have been the right thing to do, the honorable thing to do."

Narrowing his eyes at the woman across from him he hissed. "What are you implying Walker?"

"Oh nothing," Sarah said quickly before adding. "It's just I think after being partners for 3 years I know the type of man you are Casey, that you would have honor your obligation and taken care of Kathleen and Alex. I know it wouldn't be easy for you since I know you would have believed you were letting your country down but you still would have bear the burden of taking care of them anyways since it would have been the appropriate thing to do."

"If you were a man I'd decked you for saying that," Casey growled as he angrily pushed himself away from the table.

The CIA agent watched the older man carefully, satisfied that what she had felt back in Kathleen McHugh's living room was right. "My being a woman was never an issue when we spared. Why should it matter now, unless I'm hitting a nerve?" She said as she got up and walked over to where he stood.

He turned to stare at the woman in front of him. "Dammit Walker, I'm not you. I don't have a need to discuss my every feeling like you do. What do you want to hear? That I'm still in love with Kathleen! That I regret not being there for Alex! Fine! I do still love Kathleen and I would have gone home if I knew about the baby but I didn't know and I can't change the decision I made. I'm dead to them, both of them and that is how it has to stay."

"No it doesn't. We've come up with enough cover stories over the years that you and I can come up with something to tell them." She told him before adding, "John, Alex deserves to know her father."

Sighing he shook his head and argued. "And then what. Beckman decides that my second, second chance is over and I become some probie's red test and disappear out of her life again. How would that be better for her?" 

"Because" Sarah said her voice thick with emotion. "I would give anything to have five minutes with a father who loved me unconditionally over the eighteen years with a father who saw me as nothing more than a prop for his con games."

Casey's features softened at his partner's confession. "I appreciate that Sarah but even if we could come up with a cover story believable enough for them and Hell maybe even good enough for them to forgive me I still can't do it. Not knowing that I'm a man with a target on my back. I can't put Kathleen through that again."

"You don't have to worry about that John. Beckman knows that she needs the Intersect and she knows that if anything happens to you that Chuck will not cooperate with the CIA or NSA."

"Great, as if my life didn't suck enough now you tell me the nerd is protecting me." Casey moaned miserable.

Sarah fought to keep from laughing. "Some would call it coming full circle. You should be proud of the agent Chuck has become since you had such an impact on him getting to where he is."

"I call it a living nightmare."

Sarah chose to ignore his comment and turned the conversation back to the real reason she was there. "Casey reach out to them, try and make up for all the time you lost. Have a real life instead of living in limbo in this apartment and punishing yourself by continuing to work at The Buy More."

"I'm not punishing myself, I don't exactly have any other options right now."

Crossing her arms she argued. "You can't tell me that you haven't had at least a dozen calls from the private sector. Hell John Casey is a free agent, your reputation is too well know not to have sent out a giant red flag to those guys and you and I both know they're always looking for talent like yours. You are punishing yourself and you don't deserve it. You don't deserve to live the way you're living. As much as Alex deserves to know her father, you deserve to know you daughter."

"Are you done?"

Sarah sighed disappointedly. "I guess."

"Well I'm sure Shaw needs you back at Castle."

Walking back towards the kitchen, she placed her half empty bottle of beer on the counter before picking up her purse to leave. Sarah opened the door and stood looking across the courtyard towards Chuck's door.

"I get it John, it's a spy life and it's what you signed up for twenty years ago and that you did it out of love for your country. Just think about something before you shut the door completely on the possible chance at happiness that Kathleen and Alex offer you. In those twenty years how many times have you forgiven your country for their mistakes? Yet they couldn't forgive you the one and only time you made what they consider an error in judgment. Could you have turned your back on your country as quickly as they turned their back on you? Why should you suffer for being human and doing what you had to do to save your family?"

Casey stared at his one remaining Bonsai tree and murmur softly. "Good luck Walker."

He reached into his pocket and pulled out his wallet once he heard the door click shut, taking out the well-worn photos of Kathleen and himself taken a lifetime ago.

"Could you forgive me?" He whispered as he traced her face, letting himself image for the first time since being fired about the possibility of reuniting with his Kathleen and getting to know his daughter.

Maybe being fired wasn't the worst thing to happen to him after all.

The End


End file.
